Dead To Me

The day was September 20, 1992.  I was ten-years-old.  Don Majkowski, the only Packers quarterback I had ever known, went down with an injury.  Head coach Mike Holmgren quickly sent in some guy with a #4 on his jersey; and for the next fifteen plus years, everyone within the borders of Wisconsin had trouble imagining anyone else taking a snap for Green Bay.

I must admit, I was one of those guys who defended Favre over the past few years.  When he still played for Green Bay and everyone claimed he was using his influence to convince the Packers to make key decisions, I thought to myself, “This is arguably the greatest quarterback to ever play the game.  Maybe you should listen to him.”  When he claimed he was forced into retirement and shunned when attempting to return, I kinda understood his argument.  I didn’t even mind when he went to New York.  I gave Brett Favre a seemingly endless amount of leeway, simply because he gave us so many years of great football.  Short of stabbing my mother or taking my CDs out of alphabetical order, I wasn’t sure if this man could do anything to make me hate him.

But all of that has changed now.

Because this fucking prima donna waste of blood has decided to suit up for one of my two least favorite things in football, The Minnesota Vikings.

Now if you want to dispute me and throw some rationality my way, go right ahead.  Tell me about how the NY Jets released Favre and he’s free to do what he wants.  Tell me about how he made such a smart decision because Minnesota’s strong running game will take some of the pressure off of him while simultaneously giving him a better opportunity to excel.  You can even tell me how smart the move is because the Vikings are (shudder) “Super Bowl Contenders.”  Tell me everything you can think of.  None of it matters.  And it’s for one reason and one reason alone…


Now don’t get to hung up on the word “Packers” from that sentence.  Instead, focus on the word “fan.”  In the context of sports, “fan” is short for “fanatic.”  This means that when it comes to the Packers, all of your rationality, logic, and sensible insights mean fuck all to me.

It basically just boils down to this: No matter how much he was once loved by the folks of the Badger State, Brett Favre is now its #1 enemy.  And even though you led us to a Super Bowl; even though you gave us tons of unforgettable memories, I must say this:  Fuck you Brett Favre.  I hope only the worst for you and your team when you step onto the field, especially against my Packers.  I was gonna close this by reminding you to throw to the purple jerseys now, but you’ve already been doing that for the last seventeen years.


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4 Responses to “Dead To Me”

  1. Nickie Says:

    I totally agree with the quote “fuck you brett favre” in this blog..

  2. dwellephant Says:

    That last line says it all…

  3. Cassie Says:

    Well, if he does throw to the purple jerseys…ah nevermind, I suppose it’s too late to check for color-blindness. But, hey, here’s to hoping he’s still really good at throwing interceptions — you know the ones we hated to see him throw but for the quarterback we still loved afterwards. Fuck him! Old fart needs to retire his crotchety ass. “If he’s a true packer, he’ll understand why I feel this way.”

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