Why Norm MacDonald Is Better Than Anyone You Know

I’ve always been a fan of Norm.  Ever since his SNL and Weekend Update days, his shtick of taking tired and terrible punch lines and treating them like comedy gold has continually made me laugh.

Lucky for me, he’s gotten progressively weirder over the years.  Whether he’s butting in on other peoples interviews:

Or attempting to roast celebrities.

Well, last night when Norm was on The Tonight Show he did not disappoint.  He decided not to plug any of his upcoming performances (he left that to Conan).  He didn’t mention any project that he might be working on.  And he didn’t tell any stories that included him bumping elbows with celebrites.  Instead, he used up one third of his almost twelve minute interview segment to tell a joke.  And to the casual viewer, the telling of this joke was an exercise in endurance.  In fact, just because I’m not sure if you’d actually watch a video of it, here it is, damn near verbatim:

A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office:

Podiatrist: What’s the problem?

Moth: What’s the problem?  Where do I begin, man?  I go to work for Gregory Linovich, and all day long I work.  Honestly doc I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.  I don’t even know if Gregory Linovich knows.  He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness.  But, I don’t know.  I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there…

Podiatrist: Oh yeah?

Moth: Yes.  At night I sometimes wake up, and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm; a lady I once loved, doc.  I don’t know where to turn to.  My youngest, Alexandria; she fell in the cold of last year.  The cold took her down as it did many of us.  And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc, my other boy, Gregaro Ivinolitanovitch; I no longer love him.  As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes all I see is the same cowardice that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror.  If only the cowardice was stronger, then perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all.  Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging onto my web of everlasting fire underneath me.  I’m not feeling good.

Podiatrist: Moth, man, you’re trouble.  But you should be seeing a psychiatrist.  Why on earth did you come here?

Moth: ‘Cuz the light was on.

(If you made it through that and still wanna see Norm do it, click here)

Good show sir.

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