My Halloween

Howdy folks. Hope everybody voted today.

Don’t worry, I’m not here to tell you how I think you should vote.  It’ll only end in me angering up my own blood as I piss off half the people in the country.  No, instead I just wanted to show you a few pictures from Halloween.

To be perfectly honest, I’m something of a “Halloween Grinch.”  I hate seeing the bulk of the twenty-something crowd going out with completely unoriginal and uninspired costumes.  The men wear costumes drawing attention to their crotch (like the “human breathalyzer test” with the conveniently placed “blow here” tube) and all the girls go as a “sexy” version of something.  I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with these costumes, but it’s a pretty safe bet that a ton of folks “settled” on something like that rather than trying to come up with something original.

This brings me to my costume.  My wife Jackie (it’ still kinda weird calling her that) gave me almost a month’s notice to come up with an idea.  I spent weeks trying to come up with the most creative and/or offensive costume I could think of.  After some careful considerations, I suggested that the two of us spike up our hair, dye it red, hang action figures from our body, fly miniature R/C airplanes around ourselves and go as the Twin Towers (what? Still too soon?).  Jackie quickly squashed the idea  and subsequently sent me back into my seasonal slump.  I was fully prepared to just sit back, ignore the holiday, and embrace the one good thing about Halloween, the saturation of horror movies on TV.

But I couldn’t.  I had to do something. So, I took the easy way out and suggested to Jackie that we both go as zombies.  When she asked me what kind of look I wanted, I told her I wanted it to look as realistic as possible.  I figured if I can’t come up with an original idea, maybe I’ll at least look disgusting.

So after a day of shopping and about $35 spent on makeup for the two of us, Jackie actually helped me enjoy Halloween by making me look like one of the grossest zombies I’ve ever seen. Romero would be proud.

Not to be outdone, she also did an awesome makeup job on herself in what I like to call her “Rhianna picture.”

So I hope everyone had a good Halloween, ‘cuz I surprisingly did.


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