The Most Powerful Move In All Of Sports

Just in case you didn’t know, the Green Bay Packers went into Philadelphia yesterday and sent thousands of asshole Eagles’ fans home with nothing to do but wait for the Phillies season to start.  That’s right, the Pack took all of those 4th & 26 nightmares out of our minds and pulled out a 21-16 victory over dog-beater Michael Vick & Co.  This Saturday, Green Bay will travel to Atlanta and pull out a convincing victory over the Falcons.  And then the week after that, the Packers will beat the Bears in dramatic fashion and punch their ticket to the Super Bowl while simultaneously making Lovie Smith cry like a little bitch.

How do I know this, you ask?  I’ve never been the type to say that the Packers have any game in the bag.  I’m wary of just about every team they play throughout every season, even the Lions.  I mean let’s face it, yesterday was probably the first time this season the green & gold showed any sign of a running game.  And it’s no secret that our special teams (specifically kick returning) could use some major work.  So why am I so confident?  Why do I know that the Packers will be suiting up on February 6th.  The answer, my friends, can be found in two words: Ghost Belt.

For those of you unfamiliar, ”Ghost Belting” occurs when an individual pantomimes a championship belt around their waste in an effort to confirm greatness to constituents and show superiority to opponents.  In recent months, the ghost belt has frequently been utilized by Packers’ quarterback Aaron Rodgers.

To be honest, I’m quite surprised that other NFL players have not added the ghost belt to their arsenal, as its power is unfathomable.  Professional wrestlers have been attempting to harness the force of the ghost belt for years, some more successful than others.  It’s about time that the move has worked its way through the ranks and into the mainstream limelight.  The move is so powerful, in fact, that pictures or videos of the act are almost impossible to find online.  My guess is that countless amounts of computers have already exploded and become casualties when naïve people have made attempts to upload the almighty ghost belt.  The power of the move is just too much for the Internet to take.

So my advice to the rest of the NFC: close up shop and focus on next season (if there is one).  The ghost belt has decided to settle its aura in Titletown for the winter, so get the fuck out of our way.

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3 Responses to “The Most Powerful Move In All Of Sports”

  1. Bil Says:

    I’ve noticed some public concern regarding the day that I will marry the Ghost Belt with the Pelvic Thrust, December 21, 2012. They are right to be worried.

  2. genegallistel Says:

    the ghost belt prophecy…amazing…and so damn accurate…sports talk shows should interview you because of this…

  3. Mom Says:

    Hello son, where are your comments on the Superbowl? What happened to your resolution to update your blog every week?

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