Guilty Pleasures

In the context of music Chuck Klosterman once wrote that the term “guilty pleasure” drives him insane because it makes people feel bad for liking something they sincerely enjoy and gives the impression that people would be doing more “cultured” things if they just weren’t listening to Snow’s “Informer.”  Klosterman is absolutely correct in his statement, but it won’t prevent me from feeling lame as I belt out every word to “Don’t Stop Believing” while I’m alone in my car.

So, in an effort to rid myself of my own self-imposed embarrassment, here’s a rundown of a few songs I regret opening my wallet for yet will never stop listening to.

10. Europe – The Final Countdown

I actually heard this song once while I was warming up for a basketball game in the sixth grade.  It got our 0-12 team revved up then, and I imagine it still would today.

9.  Joan Osbourne – One Of Us

I bought this CD single at a gas station for a dollar thinking I could annoy the fuck out of a lot people.  Now, fifteen years later, I actually know how to play it.

8.  Real McCoy – Another Night

When you grow up with an older sister who is heavy into cheerleading, you pick up some terrible habits.

7.  Evanescence – Call Me When You’re Sober

One of the greatest things about being married is sometimes the sheer embarrassment of showing what you bought to your spouse is enough to prevent a foolish purchase.  Unfortunately, this album was released before I met my wife.

6.  My Chemical Romance – Teenagers

If I was ten years younger, I’m sure this song would’ve “spoken to me.”  Instead, it became the first time I felt I was too old for a song (if that makes any sense).

5.  Derringer – Real American

Nothing but Hulk Hogan comes to mind when I hear this one.  Perhaps it’s my inner 5-year-old that just won’t let go.

4.  K7 – Zunga Zeng

Although I had an impressive cassette collection back in 1993, this was the first CD I ever bought.  As a result, I will never get sick of it.

3.  TaTu – Not Gonna Get Us

What can I say?  When someone starts talking about young Russian lesbians, I tend to pay attention.

 2.  Eddie Money – Take Me Home Tonight

Any integrity this song might’ve have had is certainly lost as soon as the “Skin-A-Max style” saxophone solo works its way in.  All the same, I’ve been singing along with the chorus for over twenty years.  Why stop now?

1.    Kelly Clarkson – Since U Been Gone

Say what you will.  This is possibly the most perfectly constructed pop song ever.  If anyone wants to start a band and cover this, I’m in.

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4 Responses to “Guilty Pleasures”

  1. nickierouleau Says:

    I’m judging you right now. Kelly Clarkson.. fine. She is an American Idol. My Chemical Romance.. sketch, but I’ll let it slide. BUT EVANESCENCE. JUDGE-WORTHY. Ick.

    • James Dolata Says:

      You may be right, but at least Bret Michaels and his hairplugs didn’t find their way on the list.

  2. Dave W Says:

    Dude, there is no way we were 0-12. Maybe 0-9,but that’s a stretch too!

    • James Dolata Says:

      We were 0-12 in the sixth grade, but we had two teams that year. I think your team won a couple, but ours represented with the big goose egg.

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