Archive for February, 2012

Ryan Braun – MVPee

February 24, 2012

In case you didn’t already know, yesterday Ryan Braun became the first player in MLB history to successfully appeal a suspension for violating the league’s drug policy.  I was going to comment on this yesterday when I first heard the news, but after hearing the league’s stance I became suspicious and wanted to hear Braun’s side of the story this afternoon.

Was his urine sample tampered with?  Did he really pass the drug test?  Did he just win the appeal on some kind of technicality?

I pondered questions like these for the past day and then finally came to a realization:

I don’t give a shit.

Sure, the Brewers’ fan in me was thrilled to hear our star player is no longer looking down the barrel of a 50 game suspension, but when it comes to the “did he or didn’t he” questions,  I really just don’t fucking care.

Of course, when it comes to real life, I think people should take responsibility for their actions and be honest with themselves and others.  Felons should go to jail and liars should get their fitting comeuppance.  Baseball, however, is different.  Because once you get past all that “sanctity of the game” bullshit, you’ll see baseball for what it really is: a game.  Baseball, my friends, is not real life. It really is just a game.

And Mr. Braun beat the system that the game itself initiated.  It’s as simple as that.  If he truly was clean, justice prevailed.  If he actually failed the test, he was smart enough to play dirty and get away with it, just like the Oakland Raiders. 

So for those who of you believe Ryan Braun was guilty and weaseled his way through his appeal, I’ll leave you with the wise words of Jesse “The Body” Ventura.

          “If you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’”

For the record, though, I still fucking hate Bill Belichick.

In Punk We Trust

February 22, 2012

Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve been a WWE fan for sometime.  To me, it almost seems like the world of professional wrestling is its own self-contained entity.  People who love it often completely surround their life with it, and people who don’t are quick to forget that it even exists.

It’s for that reason that wrestling becomes that much more interesting when it crosses over into mainstream pop culture.  Whether it’s Randy Savage selling Slim Jims, Chris Jericho dancing with stars, or the The Rock making crappy movies, you never know how the wrestling world and the rest of the human race are going to separately interpret it.  Is it simply an act of cross-promotion or is it a wrestler just branching out?

In the case of the CM Punk/Chris Brown twitter war, the answer seems rather obvious: Punk really just doesn’t like Chris Brown.

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, let me explain.  This “too personal to be scripted” war of words began about three days ago when WWE Champion CM Punk had some choice words for Chris Brown.  In a statement that echoed just about everyone else’s sentiments since Mr. Brown decided to beat the holy hell out of Rihanna a few years ago, Punk stated he’d like to see how well Chris would do against someone who could defend themselves,  saying he’d love to “curb stomp that turd.”

Well, Chris Brown caught wind of this and responded to the Champ with his own now deleted comments, most of which included accusations that Punk needs to lay off the steroids.  The only problem with that comment is that Punk does not use steroids.  In fact, in both his in-ring persona and personal life, Punk is a follower of the Straight Edge lifestyle; no drugs, no alcohol, no smoking (more recently Punk has even cut meat and sugar out of his diet as well).

I’m not a follower of the Straight Edge lifestyle, but I’ve known people who are.  And even though none of them have been preachy when it came to their convictions, I surely knew better than to fuck with them when it comes to their beliefs.

Chris Brown apparently does not.  CM Punk posted the following video after the steroid comments were made.

I’m usually not one to condone violence, but who wouldn’t want to see this fight happen.

Fuck Chris Brown.