Ryan Braun – MVPee

In case you didn’t already know, yesterday Ryan Braun became the first player in MLB history to successfully appeal a suspension for violating the league’s drug policy.  I was going to comment on this yesterday when I first heard the news, but after hearing the league’s stance I became suspicious and wanted to hear Braun’s side of the story this afternoon.

Was his urine sample tampered with?  Did he really pass the drug test?  Did he just win the appeal on some kind of technicality?

I pondered questions like these for the past day and then finally came to a realization:

I don’t give a shit.

Sure, the Brewers’ fan in me was thrilled to hear our star player is no longer looking down the barrel of a 50 game suspension, but when it comes to the “did he or didn’t he” questions,  I really just don’t fucking care.

Of course, when it comes to real life, I think people should take responsibility for their actions and be honest with themselves and others.  Felons should go to jail and liars should get their fitting comeuppance.  Baseball, however, is different.  Because once you get past all that “sanctity of the game” bullshit, you’ll see baseball for what it really is: a game.  Baseball, my friends, is not real life. It really is just a game.

And Mr. Braun beat the system that the game itself initiated.  It’s as simple as that.  If he truly was clean, justice prevailed.  If he actually failed the test, he was smart enough to play dirty and get away with it, just like the Oakland Raiders. 

So for those who of you believe Ryan Braun was guilty and weaseled his way through his appeal, I’ll leave you with the wise words of Jesse “The Body” Ventura.

          “If you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’”

For the record, though, I still fucking hate Bill Belichick.

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3 Responses to “Ryan Braun – MVPee”

  1. topiclessbar Says:

    The guy had a lot of testosterone in that pee. Maybe he was just feeling manly that day. Good luck to your Brewers this season!

  2. Yer momma Says:

    Given the facts. I think it would be more of a conspiracy theory thinking that he cheated considering he had three times the highest ever recorded testosterone level and never gained a pound, than the sample being faulty. If someone is accused of rape, and exonerated beyond a shadow of a doubt, they still live with that stigma. We love you Brauny! We love you Chewy!

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