Archive for March, 2012

Wrestlemania 28: The Wait Is Almost Over

March 30, 2012


We are a mere 2 days away from what could be one of the greatest Wrestlemanias ever.  As always, here are my picks for these scripted competitions:

  • John Cena will defeat The Rock
  • The Undertaker will continue his streak to 20-0 with his victory over Triple H
  • CM Punk will lose the WWE Championship to Chris Jericho (subsequently keeping this rivalry going through at least one more pay-per-view)
  • Sheamus will claim his first World Heavyweight Championship when he pins Daniel Bryan
  • Cody Rhodes will defeat The Big Show and retain the Intercontinental Championship (and continue to inch toward Honk Tonk Man’s record for longest IC title reign)
  • Randy Orton will defeat Kane
  • Team Teddy will fall to Team Johnny (Teddy Long is in his sixties, he’s gotta retire some time)
  • Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos will beat Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres

So check out Wrestlemania 28 on Sunday and see how right I am.

It’s still real to me, dammit!


The Worst Commercial Ever

March 27, 2012

It’s always comforting to see that no matter where you go in this world, there’s no shortage of complete fucking morons.

Take, for example, the Turkish geniuses who came up with the idea for the latest Biomen shampoo commercial.  Now I wasn’t there, so I don’t know exactly what the brainstorming process was when they established the concept for their ad, but my guess is it went something like this:

EXECUTIVE #1:  Alright, quite simply, we need a great idea.  We’ve spent far too much in developing this product for it to not be successful.  We need an ad campaign that guarantees that this shampoo flies off the shelves.  So, what’ve you got?

EXECUTIVE #2:  Well sir, this is a shampoo for men, and we have to market it to men.  So let’s throw all the standard “shampoo commercial” clichés out the window.  We need to break the mold.  We need to come up with some idea that every man can get behind.  Then, we need to make our product synonymous with that idea.

EXECUTIVE #1:  You mean something like sex appeal?

EXECUTIVE #2:   No sir.  As effective as that may have been in the past, it’s tired.  This is a groundbreaking product, and the ad campaign should be nothing less than that.

EXECUTIVE #1: How about a spokesperson?

EXECUTIVE #2:  Perhaps.  But a lot must be considered before settling on someone.  Whoever we choose will be the face and essence of this product.  

EXECUTIVE #1: Well, who’d you have in mind?

EXECUTIVE#2:  First of all, it has to be a man.  Our product is for men so our spokesperson must be someone our target market can relate to.  Secondly, this person has to hold an almost unimaginable amount of power and epitomize the cleansing power of our product.  And lastly, he has to hold a level of notoriety so high that every man from 9 to 109 knows his name.

EXECUTIVE#1:  I don’t know who you have in mind, but judging from what you said, we can’t afford him.

EXECUTIVE#2:  What if I told you I could get him for free?

EXECUTIVE#1:  I’d ask you what the hell you were doing in my office when you should be making this commercial.  GO!

EXECUTIVE#2:  Yes Sir!


March Madness: The Rematch

March 14, 2012

For those of you who didn’t read my last March Madness post, last year my wife, Jackie, and I placed a little bet on the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. The winner was given the option of choosing the location for our next dinner date.

In case you didn’t know, my wife and I differ greatly when it comes to our opinions on what constitutes a good dining experience. Jackie prefers places with good food. You know, the kind of place where your drink is in a glass made of glass and the napkins aren’t made of paper (Weird, huh?). I, on the other hand, am a slave to the almighty chain restaurants. I’ve gotten a little better in the last couple of years, but most of what I eat is pretty basic. My food palette just hasn’t really advanced much since 3rd grade.

So I’m sure you’re wondering who won last year. Well, when the smoked cleared, I alone danced the victory dance and merrily trotted with my reluctant wife to the majestic splendor that was Old Country Buffet.

But now it’s 2012, I’m looking to defend my title and Jackie is looking for redemption. Both of us did our part by not paying any attention to college basketball until last Sunday, so let’s see what happens.

Here is Jackie’s bracket (click image to enlarge)

Here is my bracket (click image to enlarge)

Not sure where we’ll go this year if I win, but it’s been months since I’ve been to Red Robin.