The Worst Commercial Ever

It’s always comforting to see that no matter where you go in this world, there’s no shortage of complete fucking morons.

Take, for example, the Turkish geniuses who came up with the idea for the latest Biomen shampoo commercial.  Now I wasn’t there, so I don’t know exactly what the brainstorming process was when they established the concept for their ad, but my guess is it went something like this:

EXECUTIVE #1:  Alright, quite simply, we need a great idea.  We’ve spent far too much in developing this product for it to not be successful.  We need an ad campaign that guarantees that this shampoo flies off the shelves.  So, what’ve you got?

EXECUTIVE #2:  Well sir, this is a shampoo for men, and we have to market it to men.  So let’s throw all the standard “shampoo commercial” clichés out the window.  We need to break the mold.  We need to come up with some idea that every man can get behind.  Then, we need to make our product synonymous with that idea.

EXECUTIVE #1:  You mean something like sex appeal?

EXECUTIVE #2:   No sir.  As effective as that may have been in the past, it’s tired.  This is a groundbreaking product, and the ad campaign should be nothing less than that.

EXECUTIVE #1: How about a spokesperson?

EXECUTIVE #2:  Perhaps.  But a lot must be considered before settling on someone.  Whoever we choose will be the face and essence of this product.  

EXECUTIVE #1: Well, who’d you have in mind?

EXECUTIVE#2:  First of all, it has to be a man.  Our product is for men so our spokesperson must be someone our target market can relate to.  Secondly, this person has to hold an almost unimaginable amount of power and epitomize the cleansing power of our product.  And lastly, he has to hold a level of notoriety so high that every man from 9 to 109 knows his name.

EXECUTIVE#1:  I don’t know who you have in mind, but judging from what you said, we can’t afford him.

EXECUTIVE#2:  What if I told you I could get him for free?

EXECUTIVE#1:  I’d ask you what the hell you were doing in my office when you should be making this commercial.  GO!

EXECUTIVE#2:  Yes Sir!



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