Guess Who’s Back

After quite the break, I have returned. I figured it was about time. So, let’s recap.

I have now become an experienced 30-year-old who has come to two glowing realizations: the first is that I can’t realize how good I have it, and the second is that I am a massive pussy who is too chickenshit to try to make anything better.

Let’s focus on the good first shall we. I have a wife that I love who for some reason treats me exceedingly better than I deserve. I’m surrounded by friends and family who actually do give a shit about me. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and a clean bill of health (for the most part). There are some people in this world who would do anything for this kind of life, and I suppose that’s where my own conflict begins. Where does my own contentment end? Should it end? What, if anything, should be risked to reach the next plateau?

I hit a few harsh realities in the last year. My current income is close to about 20K lower than the national average. I simply can’t provide myself with the life I want, let alone the life my wife deserves. So what do I do? Do I actively seek a way to better my situation?

Of course not.

Doing that might upset the nest, no matter how shitty it is, that I’ve already feathered for myself. And no matter how bad your cards are, there’s always someone who has an even shittier hand. So what do I do? I watch professional wrestling, play fantasy football, and ruthlessly critique every song I hear and movie I see. And just to make sure that everyone knows how important and spot-on everything I think is….

I also write.

I may say I write to entertain you, and honestly that may be a small piece of the pie. But in all honesty, it’s all about me. I do it to make myself feel better. I do it because it literally is the least I can do. I do it so I can continue to harbor illusions that high-powered strangers will miraculously stumble upon this site and immediately offer me a position that allows me to jump up a tax bracket for doing something I love. It’s like that scene in Fight Club where Brad Pitt talks about a generation of men rebelling against a world that promised them lives as rock stars. The only problem is that I can’t beat Jared Leto’s face to a pulp. Instead I just have to do my best to vividly compare his terrible band to an audio version of the Black Plague.

I guess if you had to sum it up in three words, it’d be this: I’m fucking pissed.

I’m pissed at the world and pissed at myself, and I’m fairly sure my writing will only get more pissed off as time passes. So enjoy my latest effort on this site while it lasts. Just think of it as a slow-motion version of some talentless hack being torn apart on American Idol. Because at the end of the day, no matter how good you think you are, someone else always has the last laugh.

More ranting coming soon…

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