Countdown To Wrestlemania 29: My Predictions

The days of waiting have turned into mere hours. Wrestlemania 29 will soon be upon us. As I do every year, I present my predictions for these scripted competitions:

 Team Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins will defeat Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls.

 Chris Jericho will defeat Fandango.

 Mark Henry will defeat Ryback.

 The Shield will defeat Randy Orton, Sheamus, & The Big Show.

 CM Punk will defeat The Undertaker and end “The Streak.”

 Triple H will defeat Brock Lesnar.

 Dolph Ziggler & Big E. Langston will take the WWE Tag Team Championship from Team Hell No.

 Alberto Del Rio will retain the World Heavyweight Championship by defeating Jack Swagger.

 John Cena will claim another WWE Championship when he defeats The Rock.

(And call it a hunch, but I believe Dolph Ziggler will successfully cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase tonight and leave Wrestlemania 29 as a dual champion.)

Enjoy the show folks. I personally will be watching Wrestlemania 29 and attending a live Whitest Kids U Know show tonight. And wouldn’t you know it, I found a video that combines them both.

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Wrestlemania 28: The Wait Is Almost Over

 

We are a mere 2 days away from what could be one of the greatest Wrestlemanias ever.  As always, here are my picks for these scripted competitions:

• John Cena will defeat The Rock
• The Undertaker will continue his streak to 20-0 with his victory over Triple H
• CM Punk will lose the WWE Championship to Chris Jericho (subsequently keeping this rivalry going through at least one more pay-per-view)
• Sheamus will claim his first World Heavyweight Championship when he pins Daniel Bryan
• Cody Rhodes will defeat The Big Show and retain the Intercontinental Championship (and continue to inch toward Honk Tonk Man’s record for longest IC title reign)
• Randy Orton will defeat Kane
• Team Teddy will fall to Team Johnny (Teddy Long is in his sixties, he’s gotta retire some time)
• Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos will beat Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres

So check out Wrestlemania 28 on Sunday and see how right I am.

It’s still real to me, dammit!

Only Two Days ‘Til We Find Out…

• Will ShoMiz remain “AWESOME!”?
• Who among the up and comers will walk away with Money In The Bank?
• Will 619 be forced to join the Straight-Edge Society?
• Who will arise from the ashes of the dismantled “Legacy” stable?
• Will the Celtic Warrior fall when he plays “The Game”?
• Can The Animal successfully silence the Five Knuckle Shuffle?
• Will the Montreal Screwjob be avenged?
• Will the Walls of Jericho fall to the spear of the Rated R Superstar?
• Will the Phenom’s undefeated streak be broken by HBK?

Most importantly, though, do you know or care what I’m talking about.

Well, if you do then you’re probably also shelling out the fifty bucks to see…

Anyways, here’s my picks for this fake sport…

• ShoMiz will retain their title
• Christian will win the “Money In The Bank” match
• CM Punk will defeat Rey Mysterio (with the help of the Straight Edge Society)
• Ted Dibiase will win the Triple Threat match (by cheating in some way)
• Triple H will defeat Sheamus
• John Cena will defeat Batista, becoming the new WWE Champion
• Bret Hart will defeat Mr. McMahon (and McMahon will bleed)
• Chris Jericho will retain his title (either by cheating or losing the match by disqualification)
• The Undertaker’s Wrestlemania record will move to 18-0

Two more days. Get your Slim Jim’s ready bitches!